Day 22 AKA Trigger Day

My assigned doctor was there at this morning's check.  It had been a female doctor the past several times I went in (she was great too).  It was good to see my regular doctor as he was really happy with my progress, but the ultrasound was painful today!  He said it was probably because I don't have very much room since more follicles are responding now!  I was super happy to hear that and it diminished the discomfort I'm feeling of sharp pains and all-over bloat.  I seriously am so uncomfortable.  It's understandable though since all 36 are between 15-20 mm.  There are 16 on the left and 20 on the right!  That is more than double what I had on Friday!

These 4 photos show one section of my follicles over the past 11 days.  Do you see how huge they are now?  Look at all those potential eggs!  I can't wait to find out the final count once they're out on Wednesday.

Injecting my final Follistim shot this morning!  Do you see the bruise in the background?  Hopefully those are a thing of the past!  

Trigger shot and directions!  I got called after lunch this afternoon and was told a lot of information about the next few days.  Luckily, I can write fast!

The trigger shot has to happen exactly 34.5 hours before retrieval.  That meant injecting it at 11 PM tonight.  Thankfully, I watched Bachelor with girlfriends and that kept me up late.  Seth is working (but decided to work from home after 9:30) so he was able to inject it for me.  He wanted to be precise so we used a sharpie to draw on my tooshie where he was going to inject it.  I would share the picture but that would mean mooning you all.  The shot was not that painful going in, but my toosh is sore now (it's actually more to the side/hip part).  I'll take that over Menopur any day though!

We are almost done with the first part of the process!  Hopefully we create lots of healthy embryos on Wednesday!  I'll find out the exact number of eggs before we leave and then they'll update me every couple days on how our embryos are doing.  We have at least 6 + more weeks before an embryo will get transferred in so we're not done with this blog or process yet!

Day 21

Well, we've come to the end of my shots/meds calendar.  I felt like this day would never arrive, but it has!

Look at that massive bruise from one little needle!

To commemorate the day, I'm sharing pictures from the AM and PM shots.

Me with my morning Follistim shot.

I only have 150 ml left (this is a picture of the entire 300 ml) 

Evening shot preparation.

I am so hopeful that this is the last of the Menopur going in.

So looking forward to tomorrow's appointment that will hopefully tell me I no longer need more shots.

Happy News--Seth and I have been Facebook Friends for 8 years!

Day 20

Man, today was rough.  I've felt pretty lethargic and not myself today.  Even the Nia Moves class I did this morning was exhausting, and I usually find it to be invigorating since it's all free-movement and loving your body.  Then this afternoon we went to a BBQ with some friends, and while I had a great time visiting, I had a hard time concentrating and focusing.  It was hard being social while feeling so crummy.  While we were there I started getting a really bad headache.  And it's only got worse since I've been home.  This is the headache from hell plus a migraine so I'm pretty blah :/.  

I had a hard time with my shots tonight.  Both bled a lot and the Menopur needle was super hard to get in.  I had to try 4 spots before I finally shoved it in.  I am so glad my shots are almost done, because I feel like I can't do them anymore.  It's getting exhausting.

Sorry for the bummer post, so here's a happy picture of me and Seth on our way to the BBQ:

Day 19

Proving that I do wear real clothes during the day,--even if they're Lula Roe leggings. ;)

At this point in the process I pretty much have no shame.  I've had several people see me down there. For example, today three people were in the exam room besides me.  Luckily, they were all females which helps with any awkwardness (but really I feel none either way now).  I think one was an intern, then there was the doctor, plus the nurse that records what the doctor says (my follicle count and measurements).

Look at those huge follicles!

I am really happy that I had more follicles responding.  Some are up to 15 mm now!  I can actually see them on the screen.  They're so noticeable.  They're thinking my retrieval will now be Wednesday!  I am glad I can go into the weekend with good news.  

I also am starting to not freak out as much about the blood draw.  I am always one to talk to people which helps distract me though.  I made a waiting room friend (who I would love to hang out with in person) that works at another large firm in Houston that Seth's firm work across from on lots of deals. I also always talk to the phlebotomist.  I found out my one today goes to a 2nd job starting at 3 AM. 

This morning's shot!

Evening Shots  

 Battle Wounds--right leg above and left leg below.

Here are today's test results: 

Estrogen is at 1585 (up from 659 on Wednesday)

Progesterone is 0.5

Decreasing satan's liquid (menopur) to one vial.  

Go in again on Monday AM

BTW--I was able to do Spin today.  My instructor calls it "mobile meditation" and it totally was today!

Day 18

I survived another day of shots!  I had several dizzy spells today along with the "crown" headache, but overall I'm feeling okay (and super bloated).  I am anxious for my appointment tomorrow morning.  I want there to be more growing follicles!  I'll probably end up dreaming about them growing since it's been on my mind all day.  Here's hoping it comes true!  ;)

Day 17

It is a huge relief to know my body is responding to the shots and medication!  I look forward to the day when I am looking at my baby on the screen and not the size of my follicles.  From today's testing I found out that my estrogen level is now at 659 (up from 175) and about 9 follicles are responding so far.  The doctor could see 6 on one side and 3 on the other.  I still have a few days for some more follicles to respond.  So far those 9 are between 5.5-10 millimeters and will more than likely get up to 20 mm.  That's going to cause a lot of bloating!

Follicle images from this morning.

Day 16

Wow!  How is it already Day 16?  The days sometimes drag on, but the weeks have flown by. Tomorrow morning I will go for my estrogen level (blood draw) and follicle check.  I am so hopeful that they're looking ripe!  Ha!

This is the follistim shot in my leg.  Once it is in my leg, I use my thumb to twist the top until it gets to the bottom.

I am feeling pretty good today.  No symptoms are really causing me drama.  Maybe I'm finally getting used to the hormones? 

I did have some drama getting my Lupron shot in.  It took me 3 tries to push it in.  Thankfully, Seth got home from work right before my Menopur shot and could push it in for me.

My friends Lauren (a photographer) and Kelsey V (a makeup artist) got me all dolled up a few weeks ago to take several pictures.  I am so glad I got these images.  I kinda feel like they're my pre-shot/baby photos and can't wait until I get some maternity images too!

Day 15

Another morning, another blood draw. I think they're just a front for Count Dracula and the Cullen Family. Just the thought of getting my blood drawn makes my arm weak with tenderness and puts a pit in my stomach. I am such a trypanophic -- look it up (I did) :) -- and having to do multiple shots a day plus blood work takes a lot of guts (and blood, of course)!

In a little bit of good news, a few hours after today's blood draw I found out my estrogen levels are increasing. I am at 175 and need go in for another check on Wednesday morning. That one will also include a scan to check my follicles. After that I'll have to go in every couple days (including the weekend) until my trigger shot. I hope the retrieval comes sooner rather than later!!

Morning Shot

Battle wounds on my left leg.

I am still in my workout (Pilates Reformer today) attire because I felt like having a lazy day.

The two needles from this evening. My legs are sore!

Seth eating his apple and taking a break after helping me with the shot. I was so glad he got home in time to help me (he had a very busy day at the office today).

Question of the day: Sometimes I wonder the purpose of this trial/journey. Does it really have a purpose or is it just the biological draw? Why do some people get pregnant so easily when they don't even want kids (i.e. when they abandon their kids) and then others (like me) will spend thousand of dollars and poke myself with hundreds of little holes all to have the opportunity just to get pregnant. It's definitely crazy and I don't know if there will ever be an answer that is satisfying.

Day 14

I am feeling better than I thought I would be with this many hormones surging through my body! Had a little scare last night though when I woke up last night with a panic attack.  But I don't know if that was related to a bad dream or the hormones-- Who knows!? Unless it happens again tonight, I am blaming it on a bad dream.  =)

So my least favorite shot would have to be Menopur. It definitely leaves a stinging sensation the entire time it goes in. I thought that maybe it hurt yesterday because there was some left-over air in the vial, so I made sure I was extra careful with prepping today (pulling the liquid in and out several times to remove air bubbles, tapping it until a droplet formed, etc.). But alas, it still hurts all the same. I even made Seth inject it (well push in the needle plunger) thinking that would make it go in a little easier.  But he had just as hard of time as pushing it in as me. I guess they just designed it to be as painful as possible for as long as possible.

Tomorrow morning I go in for blood work.  Exactly 1 more week of these shots!  Hallelujah for that!

Day 13

This is me being happy that my headaches weren't as horrible today.

What an emotional day for my shots!  My morning shot went okay.  It was weird twisting the dial when the needle was in my skin to completely inject it.

Getting my morning shot ready.  I made sure I had the Follistim video up to follow along with while I did it.

This is what the shot looks like.  You twist the right piece while the needle is in your skin.  The shot has to be refrigerated.

Putting tonight's shots together were a little harder than normal.

I had a little bit of a roller-coaster of an evening.  Tonight I had to take 2 shots, and one of the shots I had to mix the solution with the powder/medicine. Based on what the nurse told me, I thought I'd have to use a reconstitution needle (used to pull the solution out of one vial and then put it in the medicine vial to mix).  But when I was looking through all my stuff, I couldn't find any of the long reconstitution needles--I thought they were missing!  I mean I went through everything.  At one point I thought I may have thrown the bag of stuff away.  I started crying because I thought that if I didn't have the needles, I couldn't mix the medicine, couldn't do the shots, and would have to start this whole (painful) process over again.  Holding back my tears, I called the late-night number for the IVF clinic to see what I should do. The lady there told me she'd have someone call me back.  In the interim I kept going through everything.  Seth kept trying to be supportive and come up with other possible ways to mix the medicine, but I was having none of it.  Finally after reading all the labels again, we finally saw these little Q-cap packets. In super small print it says they're substitutes for the reconstitution needles. WHEW! Big sigh of relief! Doing the shots is stressful enough--I don't need the rest of this drama! Glad I was able to find it--I guess it all gave me extra time to ice my legs before the shots!

Only 8 more days of this trio!

For my exercise today I went on a nice long walk with Seth.

Day 12

Tonight was my last 10 iu of Lupron.  Tomorrow will only be 5 iu, but I'll also be adding 3 other shots (and I'm still taking dexamethasone in the mornings).  I struggled in spin today (had to stop and get some fresh air again) so I cancelled the class I had scheduled for tomorrow morning so that I can see how I react to the extra shots.  I want to work out with "Seth Supervision" in case something happens.  =)

I took my sister's advice for my headache today.  This was me feeling the zen!  I had an ice pack on my head and a heating pad on my neck.  Seth thinks I look like a sick lion in the picture.  Ha!

We got the official approval paperwork for ICSI. Woohoo!

Day 11

I love the feeling of crossing things off a to-do list.  It's an even better feeling when I'm crossing things off of my "Shoot Myself with a Tiny Shot" List.

Waiting for blood work at IVF Clinic.

This morning I woke up early (6:40) to get my blood work and have an ultrasound done.  I was surprised by the number of women there with me at the Clinic this morning.  I counted about eight! Hopefully each of us gets pregnant. For my visit today, I had what's called a "Suppression Check." The doctors want me to have a thin uterus lining and for my estrogen levels to be low.  Thankfully they were--good to check that off the list so we can move forward.

But as with most things, there's a yin to the yang. Now that we're moving forward, that just means more of the shots (both in quantity and dosage).  I am actually super nervous for my four (4!!) shots on Saturday (whoever came up with the idea of four shots all in a day deserves a smack).  Three of them actually take a bit of time to prepare and I don't want to screw anything up.  Knowing how anxious I can be unless I'm uber-prepared, I decided to put my mind at ease tonight by watching a few videos on how to do it.  I will more than likely watch them again on Saturday before each shot.

I can't remember if this was a picture of my uterus or my follicles, but I'm 75% sure it's the uterus (or maybe it's just 75% of my uterus - who knows?)

Not to be outdone by the pain of all these shots, I had to get pricked again today--this time to draw stuff out. The blood work was actually really painful today. Obviously me and needles are not best of friends, but I must have had an Edward Scissorhands impersonator as my phlebotomist because my arm still hurts from it actually. It left a red bump about the size of a pencil eraser.  It was kind of surprising since they only needed one vial.  Either it was because I was tense or because they had two left hands. Luckily, the ultrasound this visit was not painful (especially compared to the last one we did) and was very quick.  I was seen by a different doctor instead of Nodler since he was at the other location.

Proof that I am still active every day! =)

Likely side effect of all these drugs/hormones--walking around sometimes causes me to get dizzy. Although  I haven't fully ruled out whether that is because I have the bad habit of always looking down at my phone while walking, I do know that it didn't really bother me before.  Plus, I still have the crazy "crown" headache too (like I said, little anvils pounding away), so all sorts of stuff is going on in my cranium. It's weird because at times I will sit down and it's like everything else in the world just continues to move.

Anyway, on a lighter note, at least I still enjoyed a Pilates Jumpboard class today.  I just let the instructors know before each class that I am on a lot of drugs so I may be slower or have to stop.  I did pretty good with today's class though!

Day 10

I always forget my sunglasses at recess time, but not today!

I actually did a full day in 1st grade today, but unfortunately I had a "headache from hell"--my head would not stop pounding. Like little anvils pounding on my temples.  It felt so good to finally finish up the school day and my separate tutoring meeting, get home, enjoy a Coke (they always help my headaches), and relax for a bit.

I didn't have too much of a break though--I got home at 5:30 but wanted to go grab dinner with my friend.  We went to a pizza joint called Dolce Vita---it felt really good to enjoy some pizza (it's such a good comfort food) and good company.

Anyway, I am so glad that I can mostly do half-days--they are what I usually do. As teachers know, spending a full day with kids in the classroom can be so exhausting.  And since I'm not always feeling well with all these drugs, and especially today with such a pounding headache, it can be so hard keeping my motivation level up when all I want to do is lie down and take a nap.  At least today, luckily, I had a pretty good group of kids, so that was still fun.

Day 10 shot is done!

Day 9

Today was another day filled with great news!

We weren't sure that our PGD (genetic screening) would be approved.  They told us it would cost $7,350 out-of-pocket if not approved and we still wanted to do it.  Talk about sticker shock!

Well they actually approved it!  We also met our insurance deductible (and it's only February!!!) so it looks like everything now will be covered at 100%.  This is amazing news!  We will only be responsible for co-pays.  Since this cycle will include around 10 visits, that means we likely will only be out-of-pocket a few hundred dollars more for ICSI.  I'll pay that any ol' day for Baby Ras though!

I got a little surprise in the mail from my sister-in-law, Megan, today.  It's called a Shot Blocker.  It has hard bristles on one side and you hold it to your skin while giving yourself the shot.  Tonight's process was a lot less painful because of it.  Of course, I still iced it beforehand.  Gotta keep to my process!

Close-up of the action.

Day 8

It's been exactly one week of shots!  This evening I got a call from a nurse at our insurance company. They approved our ICSI procedure today so that is fantastic news!  I am thrilled we won't have to fight them on it since it is such a pricey procedure.  I am curious how much the final out-of-pocket cost will actually be (we are already at a few thousand dollars).  It's worth it though.  To have a mini-Seth/Me will be so amazing.  She also wanted to know if I had any questions and confirmed that I was taking pre-natals that had folic acid of at least 800 mcg (I am and have been for many years--as you know, I've always been optimistic about things).  I thought it was pretty nice that our insurance company would do a check--they also needed verification for the PGD testing so it was a multi-purpose call.

I was going to skip my weekly Bachelor Night with girlfriends tonight, but I decided to go anyways and do my 8th shot there.  They were all really nice about it.  I just went into another room for a few minutes (ice-time, prep-time, inject-time).  It was nice being able to enjoy the evening with them all still!

BTW--I am back to putting the shots into my thigh.    

Day 7

Prepping Shot 7

Scheduling around the shots is a little annoyance that I didn't really think about before.  I've left activities early or didn't go to others because I had to give myself the shot.  In order to make sure I get them done correctly, I like to be at home so I can do them slowly and carefully.  Well, tonight we got invited over to a friend's house to play games.  Since they know our situation (and are very kind people), I decided to try doing my shot over at their place.  It was a little harder to do since I prepared it at the kitchen table, and then went to the bathroom to inject it into my stomach (usually I stay in one place).  BUT, I am so glad I did it there so we could enjoy some great company.  It was made even sweeter with tasty Belgian waffles and winning a round of a new game!

My winning hand!

Newest Side Effect--breaking out =/

Day 6

Injection Site 6

It's been exactly one week since I received the box of drugs that will change our future!  With a little over two weeks left in this round before retrieval, I am so glad it is going by quickly!  Tonight's shot in my right leg was painful.  It even got some weird bumps around the injection site afterwards too.  I'm taking that as a sign to try my stomach area again.  Maybe swapping around four sites will be better than just two?  Especially since next Saturday starts the three shots in a day!  The only thing I have to look forward with that many shots in a day is being able to play a game of Tic-Tac-Toe and always winning!

We celebrated our Valentine's Day today so I thought I would share a picture of us sporting the red and pink!  Hopefully this time next year we will have Baby Ras in a similarly themed picture! =)